Highly Favored vs. Many Afflictions 1 Nephi 1

Ron's 1 year mark was in July (the 26th of July) since his accident happened. He is doing great, he had his hip replaced at the beginning of this month, Sept. 2, 2015. His first hip surgery just didn't make his walking any easier. It did help with movement as Dr. Hilliard had predetermined. Ron didn't improve much so he decided he was ready for a hip replacement. That went very well and Ron is working hard in physical therapy and is having a quick recovery. His attitude is as great as ever. I feel so blessed to be around him. He is amazing! He has changed his life dramatically since his accident. He has no desire to smoke, to partake of substances, or even participate in anything he would have called his "vices" that he struggled with his entire life. He just wants to be clean and live a clean life.

I am taking a religion class through BYU-I, and was given the opportunity to post a blog about what I learned this week in my studies of the Book of Mormon. In 1 Nephi 1:1, Nephi states that he was "highly favored of the Lord," and that he had "seen many afflictions," as well as had gained "knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God."
I can't but think of the afflictions that everyone experiences. I am not alone in my trials. No one is exempt from trials in life. In D&C 122:7-8 Joseph Smith was in Carthage Jail before he was assassinated. He had suffered many afflictions and was told by the Lord "if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; [if] the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."  Applying that scripture to my own life, helps me to understand that trials are given to us so that we can grow. During one of my worse trials in my life I had never prayed so much. Trying to understand why this certain trial I was enduring had to be so difficult. As I ponder the words of Nephi "having seen many afflictions in the course of my days," I am comforted to know that we are given certain trials and afflictions to be tested, and to be put through a "refiners fire". As we endure and turn to God, we gain knowledge and see the goodness that comes from Him, as stated by Nephi. We will learn more about the mysteries of God through being submissive to God's will. 
I watch my brother Ron suffer in pain, living in a long-term care facility with the elderly, many who have no quality of life. Ron is amazing, and he is enduring his trials with grace and humility. He is cheerful (except when he is in pain, and it takes an hour from the time he presses the nurses call light to get some pain relief!), he is child-like and humble. I get to be around him and I feel so blessed to learn from all that he has endured. I don't know that I can shout "bring on the trials", I can say that I change during my difficulties, and I fall to my knees asking for help to endure. I hope one day I will be highly favored of the Lord, by enduring my afflictions well.

Ron's Hip Surgery Jan 2015

Ron was pretty excited for the surgery. He had high hopes that Dr. Hillyard would fix everything. And he did a great job. It was a little rough because he couldn't move at all for what seemed forever. Not sit up at an angle, nothing. The Dr. wanted to try and get the hip to stabilize on it's own to avoid a hip replacement (he is too young for this per the Doc.). I thought Ron was going to go crazy (I know I would). Laying there in bed for weeks. I think it was 6 weeks total. And every 2 weeks he had to ride the Gold Cross ambulance to Murray to see Dr. Hillyard. He had a brace on that leg to keep him from moving the hip. Ron hated that thing.

Here are some pics from the hospital bed, he ended up staying there almost a week, he lost some blood and blood had to be drained from the bleeding caused by the bone removal etc. He also had to be moved from the care center in South Ogden to another facility because he needed a special board to be transferred to for his physical therapy while bed ridden. It took several days to find a place that had this table. He is now in North Ogden at the Deseret Health and Rehab Center.

The Surgery went well, and I asked Dr. Hillyard how much bone was removed, he described it as if it was like removing 150 cubed-sized sugar cubes. (A LOT).

Ron went to the new facility and it felt like starting over again with learning to walk and move again. We had high hopes for his hip. Here are some pics of Ron working with that special table. He would be strapped on the table and the rehab Dr. would flip him around to standing position in order to keep that hip in place.

Christmas and another Hip Surgery in January 2015

Ron came to our house on Christmas Eve and he had a sleepover on our couch. Ron was with us when Santa came, he wanted a cane to help with his walking. Santa brought him a cane, he was very grateful. Ron and I watched a movie together while everyone else slipped out of the room, and went their own ways, they couldn't get into the movie I guess. It was great hanging out. I set up a tree in his room at the care center that he could enjoy during the holidays.

For several months Ron was complaining about his hip, he hasn't been able to straighten out his leg and his hip (left hip that was hit so hard) just hurts all the time. He had been walking all over the place and trying to do his physical therapy. Nothing helped. We went to the Dr. in December and Dr. Hillyard advised that the surgery was a risk, he was diagnosed with Heterotopic Ossification. This is caused when bones form abnormally where there has been traumatic injuries. This was the case in Ron's hip and pelvis. Neurological injuries (TBI) can cause this issue, which was also the case with Ron. We are pretty sure he has the same problem in his left arm. His left arm will not turn. His left arm and hand does not function much at all. Below is an X-ray of the Ossification formed on his left hip:

The reason the Doctor felt the surgery would be a risk was because it isn't a guarantee that it will be fixed. And, he has to dig out all the bone that has formed in his muscles. He described it like trying to find hundreds of marbles in beef and trying not to mess up the meat. Another thing that could go wrong is the feeling in his legs and feet because the bone was also formed near his Sciatic Nerve, which could get damaged. He warned Ron of these risks, however Ron wanted to go ahead with the surgery. So we set the date for the first week in January 2015. Below is the x-ray of his hip, the bone looks like crystals forming and growing abnormally.

Thanksgiving was great!

I picked Ron up for Thanksgiving and brought him to my daughter and son-in-laws home (Randi and Joe) in Morgan where we live. It was a very simple gathering, just my family and Ron. It was very nice. Ron is doing great. He is so grateful for everything and anything! He never complains a word. Yes, he is sore and his hip is killing him. He is amazing. We took him back to Dr. Hillyard, the Doctor who did the multiple surgeries (orthopedic surgeon at IMC) to review the scans performed on his hip and arm a few weeks ago. His arm and hand are slowly progressing, not as fast as Ron would like. He can barely move his hand and the left arm won't turn at all.  (I will report on his visit and suggested surgery later). Reminder, back to the injuries, we were not sure he would gain the ability for movement in that left arm and hand.  Here is what the arm looks like now:

He does his exercises (Physical therapy) on his own most of the time. He likes to go workout in the PT room at night when everyone is gone so he can do whatever he wants. I remember in the beginning when he would fall out of bed often. I suspect that he was trying to get up and walk. It is that independence and will to fight, he has inside of him. He used to say "I need to get out of here and get to work!"

On Thanksgiving he sat in a big nice recliner and announced that he needed one of those for his room. He loved it. We ate and watched football. He talked about his problem with going to the bathroom because of the meds (our family always talked bathroom talk at the table while growing up). I felt right at home around Ron as usual. He makes us all laugh and really is a different person right now. Very humble and grateful to be alive!

He shared this video with me, his first time walking with a cane, GO RON!!

 

Jen and Kurt (my sister and husband) were in town for Thanksgiving and took their boys to visit Ron. The last time Jen saw Ron was when he was in the coma. (They have talked on the phone though). She was amazed at how far he has come. He remembers everything now. It just takes him a minute to remember some details of events, or someone's name (this is normal for me). Ron's memory was amazing before the accident. I would have to ask him details about stories (while growing up), or ask him someone's name. He would blurt it out. I told him we are finally on the same level. It frustrates him.

Jen and Kurt gave him a heating blanket for his birthday (he is always so cold, he makes his room very warm and keeps the door closed). He was so happy! The simple things in life make Ron happy. It is great to watch.

The Left Hip, we were told this would be an issue

Wow, time flies. It has been weeks since I have posted. Ron is doing well. He has been in severe pain in his left hip. We got him a Dr. appt. to see Dr. Hillyard. He is the wonderful man who did most of Ron's surgeries at IMC. I wasn't able to go to the appt. Jim went to the appt and Ron has calcium build-up in his forearm and left hip where he was most seriously injured. The Dr. said this is typical with someone who has experienced major bone injuries and TBI. The calcium has built out like tree branches or crystals. Ron will be having surgery to remove much of the build-up in a few weeks. He has been a trooper. I thought he was experiencing pain due to his orthopedic injuries, which is true, however the calcium build-up can cause severe pain. Ron told me the pain killers hardly help.

Ron continues to be in high spirits and has much gratitude for having survived such a traumatic accident. He told me today he is ready to leave the place he is in. He has one more month before he can qualify to be upgraded to an assisted living facility. He will also need to be a little more mobile in order to live in a place with less dependency on others. He has been pretty independent. He gets into his wheelchair to tell the nurses when he is ready for his pain meds. He has decided he can go down to the physical therapy room on his own and work out, stretch and walk a little while holding on to bars. He thinks he knows much more about what he needs than the physical therapists.

I hope once he has this surgery on his hip he will have the ability to stand for more than a minute or two and begin walking with assistance. The pain is unbearable right now, and he can't do much without experiencing such pain.

Ron's burrito from Costa Vida!

Ron is improving leaps and bounds (Report as of this last week)

As of the beginning of this week Ron is now allowed in a wheelchair. He can push himself very slowly with his good arm and leg (The right leg and arm). He is fighting to be as independent as possible, and won't stay in bed any longer. They x-rayed him after one of the falls and the doctor said everything looked good and is healing well, therefore they have let him get in and out of a wheelchair with assistance. He has been a lot happier.

Once in the wheelchair he was able to have a real shower. He was very happy about that. Ron is so thin. He had always been thin, but not quite like this. His clothes hang on him. He is eating and liking the food so that is good. I keep bringing him Pepsi, he loves Pepsi, and lots of candy bars. Hopefully that helps him gain some weight. I asked him what kind of sweets or candy he is craving. He asked for Hot Tamales. Hmmm. I didn't know those still existed.. I did find some! Watching him eat again in the beginning of solid foods was like watching a child eat a treat that he only gets on special occasions. He loved eating a burger, fries and shake for the first time after the accident as well. It was almost like he had forgotten about food along with the short term memory loss.

A lot of Ron's memory improves weekly. He still forgets some things, but amazingly and miraculously he is remembering a lot more now. He can recall who comes to visit as well as short term activities and names of those who care for him. He really likes his new speech therapist. She plays poker with him. He loves that. I knew he would like her, she is very down to earth and can handle Ron's personality.

He asked me recently if our sister Jen was still with her boyfriend and stated his name. I said no, she is married to Kurt. He then quickly said. That is who I meant, Kurt Neeley. Sometimes it takes a minute for him to remember. This doesn't happen nearly as much as it did in the beginning. He didn't know who I was when he came out of his coma! That is how far he has come. I was talking to a friend in my neighborhood who had a brother who suffered some memory loss from an accident. He never did regain his short term memory. He would recall things from the past and never fully recovered. It is a miracle that Ron has come this far in only a few months since the accident.

Ron is talking about his experience while "asleep"

Ron talks about how he should be dead. He tells the nurses or those who come in his room that there is a reason he was given another chance at life. He gets frustrated because he is treated like he is a TBI patient (traumatic brain injury), which he is; However, he is "with it" more than he gets credit for. The nurse told me that too. She knows he is quite "with it". They put Ron on some medication to help with his agitation. He calls them "brain meds" and hates to take them. The other day when I was there he hadn't taken anything for pain all day. Wow, that is crazy. He was refusing all medications. His left hip hurts the most right now. His left hip was dislocated and he had chipped some of the bone. The doctor said he would eventually need his hip replaced. That will be a discussion with the doctor when he goes for a check-up.

Ron talks of his tobacco cravings (one of his first words at the specialty hospital in Provo). Over the last few weeks he has been talking about how hard the cravings are. This last Friday I asked him about it, and he said that people come in his room smelling thick of smoke. He said he can't stand it and it makes him sick. (I am crossing my fingers that he doesn't give in and have a cigarette!). He said that he won't go back to that nasty habit.

It is hard to visit Ron in this long term care facility. Everyone is at least in their 70's and 80's. There are a few in their 60's. Ron is the youngest at almost 45! I went with him into the dining area for his meal and a few of the patients were trying to talk to him. He said he hated going to the dining area because everyone is so negative and whiny! I don't know how much longer Ron will last in this place, he is a fighter and told me the other day he needed to get out of this place and get back to work!!

Ron also shared his "near death experience" which was very real. It was sacred for the most part, so I won't share detail. However, he is very open about it even to strangers. He said he knows God and Jesus Christ are real. He was told that he should be dead, and the accident was for him. It wasn't time for him to die, he needed to make changes in his life. Ron has always believed in God. He has always admitted he has struggles with addictions and "his vices" and knows that God is real and exists without a doubt. He now states that he has "seen too much" not to believe.

Parts of his story are unique to a near death experience. The things he said can not be made up or envisioned by someone with a TBI. There was too much detail and some of the words he used convinced me they were not from Ron's imagination. He reported something significant about our ancestors too. I may share that at a later time, for now, I have gained more insight of God and his plan for us in this life. Ron's experience has increased my testimony and confirmed the things I know to be true.

Ron's staples were removed

Left Leg Fasciotomy staples picture taken 8/22/14

Left leg after removal of staples (picture taken 4-5 weeks later than prior photo)

Ron is going to have some bad "A" scars, he said they will always remind him of the accident and his "fourth" chance. I didn't know what he meant by "fourth" chance. He seems determined to make some big changes in his life. He seems very sincere. I would love to see him become what he has always wanted to become. He has so much talent and ability.

Right arm removal of staples due to fasciotomy

The nurse removed his staples a little too late, the scabs and small amount of infection will clear right up. His arm is the same size as his leg pictured above!

The first week in the new facility admitted on Sept. 22 (So. Ogden, Utah)

Once Ron left Provo and the specialty wound center, it was quite an adjustment. Ron was in an adult care facility in Roy for a week. He then transferred to a different facility at his request. He didn't like the place in Roy. He is now in So. Ogden and likes it much better.

The first night in the facility he had the nurse convinced that he could get into a wheelchair. They gave in to his demands and he tried to stand on his good leg and fell right over. (Doctor orders were to wait 3 months before standing, it had only been 8 weeks).

His second night there I walked in his room and he was yelling at the nurse and the nurses aide. They looked terrified of him. He was very agitated, in pain and needed help getting to the bathroom. I had to help him with some of the duties because no one would come near him in his rage. (Ron sounds like he is rotten, really he is so frustrated and in pain). Ron has always had a big heart.

Ron's room-mate, Greg was also terrified (they are separated by a curtain). He told the nurse he was afraid Ron would go after him.  Ha, ha, Ron can't move! How is he going to come after you Greg? I tried to calm Greg down and asked if Ron has been disturbing him. He said "well, he has been screaming and cussing all night".  Poor Greg. He is in his 70's and can't get out of bed either, due to a stroke and some other sickness he has, very sweet man. After a few days they became friends.

A few visits later Ron had a new room-mate. He was very quiet and when I tried to talk to him, he wouldn't look at me. Ron had an argument with him and his sisters because they took his cable box and cords. Ron said loudly "we are no longer friends". The equipment has to be ordered by the maintenance guy. We ordered them the prior day and when I came the next day everything was hooked up to his room-mates t.v. Ron was furious about that. He didn't have a problem telling them either. Because Ron can't move, he couldn't do much but yell at them (he said the nurses didn't know what was going on and didn't do anything about it). We got that all resolved by the next day.


Within that first week, Ron fell out of bed 3-4 times because he moves all over trying to get comfortable (we have never seen the falls, knowing Ron I assume he is trying to stand on one leg on his own). I met with his nurse and social worker to figure out how to prevent the falls. They can't have railings on the beds due to state regulations, therefore he has a mat next to his bed on the floor for now.