Thursday, November 13, 2014

The Left Hip, we were told this would be an issue

Wow, time flies. It has been weeks since I have posted. Ron is doing well. He has been in severe pain in his left hip. We got him a Dr. appt. to see Dr. Hillyard. He is the wonderful man who did most of Ron's surgeries at IMC. I wasn't able to go to the appt. Jim went to the appt and Ron has calcium build-up in his forearm and left hip where he was most seriously injured. The Dr. said this is typical with someone who has experienced major bone injuries and TBI. The calcium has built out like tree branches or crystals. Ron will be having surgery to remove much of the build-up in a few weeks. He has been a trooper. I thought he was experiencing pain due to his orthopedic injuries, which is true, however the calcium build-up can cause severe pain. Ron told me the pain killers hardly help.

Ron continues to be in high spirits and has much gratitude for having survived such a traumatic accident. He told me today he is ready to leave the place he is in. He has one more month before he can qualify to be upgraded to an assisted living facility. He will also need to be a little more mobile in order to live in a place with less dependency on others. He has been pretty independent. He gets into his wheelchair to tell the nurses when he is ready for his pain meds. He has decided he can go down to the physical therapy room on his own and work out, stretch and walk a little while holding on to bars. He thinks he knows much more about what he needs than the physical therapists.

I hope once he has this surgery on his hip he will have the ability to stand for more than a minute or two and begin walking with assistance. The pain is unbearable right now, and he can't do much without experiencing such pain.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Ron is improving leaps and bounds (Report as of this last week)

As of the beginning of this week Ron is now allowed in a wheelchair. He can push himself very slowly with his good arm and leg (The right leg and arm). He is fighting to be as independent as possible, and won't stay in bed any longer. They x-rayed him after one of the falls and the doctor said everything looked good and is healing well, therefore they have let him get in and out of a wheelchair with assistance. He has been a lot happier.

Once in the wheelchair he was able to have a real shower. He was very happy about that. Ron is so thin. He had always been thin, but not quite like this. His clothes hang on him. He is eating and liking the food so that is good. I keep bringing him Pepsi, he loves Pepsi, and lots of candy bars. Hopefully that helps him gain some weight. I asked him what kind of sweets or candy he is craving. He asked for Hot Tamales. Hmmm. I didn't know those still existed.. I did find some! Watching him eat again in the beginning of solid foods was like watching a child eat a treat that he only gets on special occasions. He loved eating a burger, fries and shake for the first time after the accident as well. It was almost like he had forgotten about food along with the short term memory loss.

A lot of Ron's memory improves weekly. He still forgets some things, but amazingly and miraculously he is remembering a lot more now. He can recall who comes to visit as well as short term activities and names of those who care for him. He really likes his new speech therapist. She plays poker with him. He loves that. I knew he would like her, she is very down to earth and can handle Ron's personality.

He asked me recently if our sister Jen was still with her boyfriend and stated his name. I said no, she is married to Kurt. He then quickly said. That is who I meant, Kurt Neeley. Sometimes it takes a minute for him to remember. This doesn't happen nearly as much as it did in the beginning. He didn't know who I was when he came out of his coma! That is how far he has come. I was talking to a friend in my neighborhood who had a brother who suffered some memory loss from an accident. He never did regain his short term memory. He would recall things from the past and never fully recovered. It is a miracle that Ron has come this far in only a few months since the accident.

Ron is talking about his experience while "asleep"

Ron talks about how he should be dead. He tells the nurses or those who come in his room that there is a reason he was given another chance at life. He gets frustrated because he is treated like he is a TBI patient (traumatic brain injury), which he is; However, he is "with it" more than he gets credit for. The nurse told me that too. She knows he is quite "with it". They put Ron on some medication to help with his agitation. He calls them "brain meds" and hates to take them. The other day when I was there he hadn't taken anything for pain all day. Wow, that is crazy. He was refusing all medications. His left hip hurts the most right now. His left hip was dislocated and he had chipped some of the bone. The doctor said he would eventually need his hip replaced. That will be a discussion with the doctor when he goes for a check-up.

Ron talks of his tobacco cravings (one of his first words at the specialty hospital in Provo). Over the last few weeks he has been talking about how hard the cravings are. This last Friday I asked him about it, and he said that people come in his room smelling thick of smoke. He said he can't stand it and it makes him sick. (I am crossing my fingers that he doesn't give in and have a cigarette!). He said that he won't go back to that nasty habit.

It is hard to visit Ron in this long term care facility. Everyone is at least in their 70's and 80's. There are a few in their 60's. Ron is the youngest at almost 45! I went with him into the dining area for his meal and a few of the patients were trying to talk to him. He said he hated going to the dining area because everyone is so negative and whiny! I don't know how much longer Ron will last in this place, he is a fighter and told me the other day he needed to get out of this place and get back to work!!

Ron also shared his "near death experience" which was very real. It was sacred for the most part, so I won't share detail. However, he is very open about it even to strangers. He said he knows God and Jesus Christ are real. He was told that he should be dead, and the accident was for him. It wasn't time for him to die, he needed to make changes in his life. Ron has always believed in God. He has always admitted he has struggles with addictions and "his vices" and knows that God is real and exists without a doubt. He now states that he has "seen too much" not to believe.

Parts of his story are unique to a near death experience. The things he said can not be made up or envisioned by someone with a TBI. There was too much detail and some of the words he used convinced me they were not from Ron's imagination. He reported something significant about our ancestors too. I may share that at a later time, for now, I have gained more insight of God and his plan for us in this life. Ron's experience has increased my testimony and confirmed the things I know to be true.

Ron's staples were removed



Left Leg Fasciotomy staples picture taken 8/22/14



Left leg after removal of staples (picture taken 4-5 weeks later than prior photo)
Ron is going to have some bad "A" scars, he said they will always remind him of the accident and his "fourth" chance. I didn't know what he meant by "fourth" chance. He seems determined to make some big changes in his life. He seems very sincere. I would love to see him become what he has always wanted to become. He has so much talent and ability.


Right arm removal of staples due to fasciotomy
The nurse removed his staples a little too late, the scabs and small amount of infection will clear right up. His arm is the same size as his leg pictured above!

The first week in the new facility admitted on Sept. 22 (So. Ogden, Utah)

Once Ron left Provo and the specialty wound center, it was quite an adjustment. Ron was in an adult care facility in Roy for a week. He then transferred to a different facility at his request. He didn't like the place in Roy. He is now in So. Ogden and likes it much better.

The first night in the facility he had the nurse convinced that he could get into a wheelchair. They gave in to his demands and he tried to stand on his good leg and fell right over. (Doctor orders were to wait 3 months before standing, it had only been 8 weeks).

His second night there I walked in his room and he was yelling at the nurse and the nurses aide. They looked terrified of him. He was very agitated, in pain and needed help getting to the bathroom. I had to help him with some of the duties because no one would come near him in his rage. (Ron sounds like he is rotten, really he is so frustrated and in pain). Ron has always had a big heart.

Ron's room-mate, Greg was also terrified (they are separated by a curtain). He told the nurse he was afraid Ron would go after him.  Ha, ha, Ron can't move! How is he going to come after you Greg? I tried to calm Greg down and asked if Ron has been disturbing him. He said "well, he has been screaming and cussing all night".  Poor Greg. He is in his 70's and can't get out of bed either, due to a stroke and some other sickness he has, very sweet man. After a few days they became friends.

A few visits later Ron had a new room-mate. He was very quiet and when I tried to talk to him, he wouldn't look at me. Ron had an argument with him and his sisters because they took his cable box and cords. Ron said loudly "we are no longer friends". The equipment has to be ordered by the maintenance guy. We ordered them the prior day and when I came the next day everything was hooked up to his room-mates t.v. Ron was furious about that. He didn't have a problem telling them either. Because Ron can't move, he couldn't do much but yell at them (he said the nurses didn't know what was going on and didn't do anything about it). We got that all resolved by the next day.


Within that first week, Ron fell out of bed 3-4 times because he moves all over trying to get comfortable (we have never seen the falls, knowing Ron I assume he is trying to stand on one leg on his own). I met with his nurse and social worker to figure out how to prevent the falls. They can't have railings on the beds due to state regulations, therefore he has a mat next to his bed on the floor for now.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ron fell out of bed - more stitches :(

While I was out of town, my brother Jim received a call that Ron had fallen out of Bed. He has been transferred to a long-term care facility, a big step down from the care he had been receiving. He had medical clearance to be moved as his wounds are healing very well. He can't do much but lift his arms and legs. He can scoot a little bit while grabbing the side of his bed and pushing with his arm and leg. He went to reach for a water cup and fell out of bed, cutting his head on the right side of his forehead. He had a black eye too. I went and saw him this last Friday while he was in McKay Dee Hospital in Ogden/emergency. He stayed the night as they thought he was wanting to hurt himself. My brother Jim made a good point. This is progress, he is becoming aware of what is happening and he is very frustrated. We knew the process of healing would be difficult. He seemed fine at the time I had visited him and in good spirits.



I stayed with him 3-4 hours while I talked to several nurses and deciding if we should move him to a different facility. Ron remembered how he fell out of bed. He said the place in Roy is terrible. They want to steal my medicine and it took them forever to come when I fell out of bed. It is hard to know what to believe. However, a nurse at the hospital told me that the place in Roy was wonderful as he went there for years growing up to visit his uncle.

The type of care he will be getting is so different from what he is used to. It will be an adjustment wherever he is. We decided to move him to a place in Washington Terrace in Ogden. That will be happening today. I am waiting to here on a time.

While with Ron I finally tracked down one of Ron's best friends that lives in Las Vegas, Bill. He and Ron had a good talk on the phone and it is amazing to watch how he is while in a conversation. He seems to remember a lot. A few hours prior to that conversation with Bill he was mumbling all kinds of crazy stuff. He told me he saw Tim (my husband) and that he just walked by his room in a suit. I told him that it couldn't have been Tim or he would be in the room with us! He said wow Tim looks just like his dad (he doesn't at all, he looks more like his mother). I said no Ron, he doesn't at all. Ron said "I mean his other dad, you know, Randi's husband" He was talking about my daughters husband Joe. He seems to bring up Randi's name every time I visit for some reason.

Last week he remembered that Uncle Clyde (my dad's brother) came to visit while he was in town. My aunt Joyce, cousins Stacey and Scott as well as Colleen, Clyde's wife. That was so great of them. Ron said it was a good visit. My aunt Joyce reported to me her thoughts:

"The difference in Ron since we last saw him two weeks ago is amazing! He knew all of us and even knew it was 2014. However, he'd forgotten that both of your parents were dead until we reminded him. He even asked Stacie to tell him how his dad died. He said he wanted his mom to come see him, and I had to tell him that wasn't possible. Then he said, well then, my other mom. We weren't quite sure about that. He said his left hand was all messed up but we noted he could move it and wiggle his fingers. Stacie told him she was upset that we didn't get invited to any of his weddings. He said no one was there, then he asked, who did I marry? When we asked if he'd like any books, he requested a Book of Mormon, along with books by Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Sidney Sheldon. Stacie said she could bring some books that were not Mormon (in fact, pretty in-Christian). He said to her, look, I've seen too much stuff not to believe it's true. We met his roommate, who told Clyde he had cancer and was there just waiting to die. Too bad. I can't see him and Ron becoming best buddies. Hopefully, Ron won't talk him into giving him any cigarettes! We asked him how he felt, now that his lungs were clear. He said he felt a lot better but the cravings are still strong. All in all, the strides he's made were amazing." (reported from my Aunt Joyce Cottrell on Sept. 16).

Progression! Ron is progressing (moved from Specialty Hospital)

I was out of town last week and got behind on Ron's blog. I went to see Ron in Provo for the last time on Sept. 12. It was our mothers birthday, so Kerri, my sister and I went to lunch (I like to go to lunch on my mom's birthday every year to celebrate in spirit).

From there I went to see Ron. He had really progressed in one week. He was chatty and I watched as the speech therapist worked with him again. She gave him the name of a color and something to associate with that color. She assigned him the object (this was a memory game, nothing to look at). Yellow is the sun, green is the grass, red is a stop sign, blue is the ocean, orange is a carrot, white is paper, purple is a flower,  pink is a pelican, brown is chocolate and black is coal. He did pretty well, but sometimes with green he would say the wrong thing (I can't remember now), purple he couldn't ever remember (flower) and blue he would sometimes say river, or lake instead of ocean. Funny thing for white he blurted out "garments", me and the speech therapist looked at each other with a very strange look. He would say it every time and then we had to correct him, no it's "paper". He started doing it on purpose to make us laugh. Pelican was way too hard to remember. He would say papaya each time or anything else that started with a "p" for pink. For coal, he said "tar" which is still good as he was associating the right color to an object! Also very funny was when he would say brown for chocolate, he would use a funny accent and say "chocolaté" (choco'latte) He is so silly.

Left hand and arm (he can lift and wiggle his fingers!! a miracle
He talks about his left arm which is the arm that was in very bad shape. He told me his arm looks like planet of the Apes. He made a funny face as if his hand was talking ("I'm from planet of the Apes").

He wasn't hungry, so I couldn't get him a burger yet. He isn't eating a ton, just enough and he is losing weight instead of gaining. Not too concerning yet. He is so very thin. He couldn't remember the names of my kids and Shane's kids. I had to remind him. He said "Cody had a grand-baby for Shane, right?" No, he isn't married. He remembers things, and then I can be talking to him and he will forget what we discussed all in the same visit. I was told this is all normal with brain injury patients.

When I left I told Ron I wouldn't be able to visit again until the end of next week because I was going out of town. He seemed to understand.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

YIPEEE Solid Foods! (Visiting Ron - Friday Sept. 5th)

Ron was so cute, I decided I like the stage Ron is in right now. Maybe I am in denial and want to ignore reality. Or, I am at peace with accepting where he is mentally right now. He is a 12 year old and we are young again. He isn't even trying to be funny and I laugh at and with him. We have always been able to laugh together and talk just about anything. Even if our lives are/were so different, we could find common ground and giggle a lot. We use to talk a lot about growing up and all the funny things we experienced. The good and bad at times depending on our mood. Ron could remember almost everything from our childhood. I was always amazed at what he could remember.

I asked Ron how the food has been. He said "terrible" it is like leftovers! They feed me leftovers!
I again promised him a hamburger from Carl's Jr. as soon as he is cleared for solid food (I hate Carl's Jr. due to personal (political) reasons, I think I have been only once many years ago; Therefore I will try and convince him he needs a Crown Burger, onion rings and a shake!)

I spent time with the case worker (Kitt) and the speech therapist (Britney) which was really great. The speech therapist is over his diet and swallowing as well as short term memory (cognitive exercises).
I watched as she asked him the simple questions, his name, what year and what city he was in.  She then told me to remind him all the time about what he was doing before the accident, where he lived, etc. We were discussing his transportation. I told Britney he rode his bicycle all over. Ron perked up and said "yes, my only mode of transportation, that is how I stay in shape!). He remembered that he rode his bike all over. From Ogden to Centerville and North Bountiful where he was doing construction as a living. He couldn't remember that he was visiting Jim in Draper at the time of the accident. He doesn't recall where he lives.  The last time I asked him what year it was he said 1995. This week he thinks it 2004 (he's getting closer!).

Britney (speech therapist), asked me to label all the photos I brought for Ron. She said it was hard to help him remember everyone without names. She showed Ron a picture of my family and pointed to my husband Tim, asking who he was. Ron said "that's me." He also told her that my dad's wedding (many years ago) with pictures of his siblings, our grandma etc. Ron said it was a picture of his wedding (Ron wasn't in the picture that we could tell). He does recognize people sporadically. This week he knew who my daughter was when I showed him a picture, he said "that's Randi Jade!" that made me smile. He also pointed to my youngest son Payton who is 14, and said he acts more responsible than him (pointing to my 18 year old Parker, shhh we won't tell Parker he said that).

Britney then fed him a cup of fruit and he was very pleased to get some crackers. She asked what kind he would like, saltines, graham, ritz, Ron said, "A cracker is a cracker isn't it?" He had his cracker and asked politely for some water to go with his cracker. He was so grateful for the water! "AH!" he said. "Nothing like water!" He seems so grateful for simple things that we all take for granted (water and crackers). He was without food for almost a month being fed formula through a tube. So he is in "heaven", besides the leftovers. Britney then cleared him to eat solids (He will get his burger next week). I then had the privilege of feeding him a slushy. He loved that too. He wasn't quite finished and decided he was tired. In a very toddler like way, he closed his eyes and said he wanted a nap. He then told me to put that slushy in the fridge (chuckle).

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

THROUGH FIERY TRIALS by John Bytheway

When My mother passed away April 2005, a dear friend of mine gave me a talk on CD by John Bytheway, having to do with trials. Those of you who may not know who he is, he is a popular LDS (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a.k.a Mormon) speaker and uses great humor in his writing and speeches.
I found this great write-up by him recently and it really helped me through one of my days/moments. I will need several of these uplifting reminders. I know God puts these in my lap as I continue to try and turn to God and the Savior during any of the trials I have faced or will face:

THROUGH FIERY TRIALS

John Bytheway

April 12, 2013
 
On March 22nd, just a few weeks ago, I stood on the stage at the Time Out for Women event in Indianapolis and I began with a comedy sketch I remembered from the country-music variety show, “Hee Haw.”

Barber: My uncle died.
Customer: Oh, that’s bad.
Barber: No, that’s good.
Customer: Why?
Barber: He left me $50,000.
Customer: Oh, that’s good.
Barber: No, that’s bad.
Customer: How come?
Barber: The taxes were $25,000.
Customer: Oh, that’s bad.
Barber: No, that’s good.
Customer: Why?
Barber: I had enough to buy an airplane.
Customer: Oh, that’s good.
Barber: No, that’s bad
Customer: Why?
Barber: ‘Cause I fell out while doing a loop de loop.
Customer: Oh, that’s bad
Barber: No, that’s good.
Customer: How come?
Barber: I saw a haystack below...

You get the idea. My point was, that each of us can look back at our lives and see that difficult times often bring wonderful blessings, given a little time and perspective.

Well, that was Friday night. I returned home late on Saturday night, and resumed my bishoply duties on Sunday. A couple of days later, Tuesday March 26th to be exact, my wife and I were debating whether the pinewood derby for the cub scouts began at 6:30 pm or 7:00 pm. At about 6:29 pm, we discovered we had exactly one minute to get to the event, so hollered to the kids, “get in the car” and we quickly gathered the family of eight into the SUV and took off.

About 7:51 pm, my cell phone rang, and it was my first counselor. Bob’s chilling words, as I recall, were “Bishop, there’s about four fire trucks in front of your house you’d better come home now! What’s your garage code?” I could hardly remember my name, let alone my garage door code. I told my wife there was trouble at home and left the building. I could hear numerous sirens and could see the smoke in the sky when I was still a few blocks away. That’s a sick feeling.

It turns out my children had been watching the Food network or some cooking show and wanted to try deep frying some chicken wings, but they had left the oil on the stove, and hadn’t turned the heat off in our rush to get out the door.

The fireman were there in four minutes after the initial call, and the fire was out in six. They were awesome.  But our kitchen was destroyed, and the entire house smoke damaged.

Over the next 24 hours, I witnessed some of the finest acts of kindness and Christlike service I had ever seen in my life. To prevent looting (which another family in our neighborhood experienced after a fire), my Elder’s quorum organized a night watch program. These fine men, these brothers in the gospel, sat in their cars in my driveway all night long, taking one of three shifts – “midnight to 2 am,” “2 am to 4 am.” and “4 am to 6 am.”  They did this for the next three nights. Other members brought us breakfast bagels, sub sandwiches, and flowers. One dear sister, without being asked, found my Sunday suit and some shirts and took them to the dry cleaners so they would be ready for Sunday. Some handed me envelopes full of cash! Among other things, this enabled us to get some temporary clothes while ours were being cleaned (I bought a shirt and pants for $10 at Deseret Industries and wore them for the next three days). My wife’s parents took us in and we slept on floors, couches and the bed of the son away at school.

Over the next 48 hours we received dozens of phone calls and texts, offers for every service imaginable, and reports that our family was now on the temple prayer rolls. “Angels will be dispatched,” texted Wendy, a friend and fellow Time Out presenter. It was incredibly humbling. More than once, I thought to myself, “I don’t deserve to be treated so nicely!” (I concluded, however, that my wife did).

My love for my dear ward members grew immensely that day, and over the next few days as I puttered around the dark and smoky house locating things I knew I needed immediately, and identifying those that could be boxed up and deodorized by the restoration company.

I must admit, my furrowed brow and worried countenance brightened considerably when the insurance adjuster and the restoration company agreed that we would need a new kitchen, new carpet, new floors, and that most of the smoke-saturated sheet rock would have to be removed, replaced and repainted – all covered by insurance.

A tragedy?
No.

My family of eight, one cat and two geckos were safe. It could have been so much worse. We are so grateful to the Lord for his mercies.

An inconvenience?
Yes, but we’re being taken care of by family, neighbors and friends.

An experience which highlighted the goodness of the people I’m surrounded with?
Absolutely. I will never, ever forget all the kindnesses – and I want to be sure when one of my neighbors is in trouble, I can be there for them in the same way.
“Bishop, you had a house fire”
“Oh, that’s bad.”
“No, that’s good....”

Or, as the scriptures say, “All things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory saith the Lord” (D&C 98:3; see also Romans 8:28, D&C 90:24, 100:15).